Awesome Prepaid Feeds

Sometimes you have to go to parties that you know you aren’t going to enjoy. Pete and Liz were just leaving one of the worst parties that Pete had ever been to. It was 2am, he was sober as he was the one who was d! riving, and Liz was pissed as she was the one who wasn’t. It would be about an hour before they got home and 5mins into the trip bored with Liz’s drunken slur.
 
Pete was annoyed by the slurred conversation coming from Liz; she had certainly not avoided getting drunk, and did his best to ignore her as they drove along. Eventually she fell silent and he figured she had finally fallen into a drunken slumber. Pete soon became aware of the fact Liz was actually awake, and making the kind of small noises she usually only made at certain other times.
 
A quick glance across at the passenger seat found Liz with it tilted right back, one had up inside her skirt, quite obviously masturbating. She gave him a sly look and said "What can I do? I’m horny and bored". Pete was aware of what she was attempting to do, she knew how angry he was, and she was trying her best to shock him out of it.
 
Liz began to fuck herself with the bottle, Pete was amazed at how much of the bottle she was able to squeeze into her tight snatch. Liz was groaning so lou! d that she drowned out the sound of tires on the road. Pete looked into his rear view mirror and saw a truck catching up to them. He slowed down.
 
As the truck got closer he told Liz, thinking that she would cover up, she didn’t, she turned on the interior light. Liz was virtually naked, feet up on the dashboard, fucking herself silly with the Coke bottle, willing the truck driver to pull up along side of them.
 
Pete looked into the rear vision mirror and saw a truck closing in on them, he told Liz that she had better cover up because she might cause an accident if the truckie sees her. Instead of covering up she switched on the interior light, just in case the truckie was getting tired and needed help to keep awake.
 
Liz put the Coke bottle in her other hand freeing up the hand closest to Pete and undid his fly, taking his cock out and began stroking it. She knew that the truckie was doing the same thing as his truck made a little swerve.
 
Liz was jacking Pete off, fucking herself with the bottle and knew that she was giving the truckie such a good show that he couldn’t help but masturbate along with them. Thank god it was 2am, if there had been any other vehicles on the road there probably would have been an accident.
 
A few traces of sticky cum dribbled down her chin, and she used a free hand to mop it from her face and then lick it from her fingers. She smiled up at him and asked "Hey baby, are you still mad at me?"



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Fear no fellow human there is still hope, but even now the horror that is the penis headed aliens are slowly taking over our workplaces, buck’s nights and 21st’s. They appear normal until such a time as the sound of merriment echoes through the streets At witch point they come out to take their place as the life of the party, these are the Peninheadians.
 
Often when one Penisheadian if found soon others will appear it is this aspect of there presence that causes fear and merriment of the human species, once men have come in contact with a Penisheadian they themselves desire to become one.
 
To accomplish this transformation a prospective Penisheadian will search the local area for there own Penisheadian mask but unless they visit there local adult store then there life will be incomplete and they will long for the life they can’t have. For it is at these stores that the required headgear can be found and acquired.
 
What to do if you see a Penisheadian:

 
The consumption of fermented hopes is not advised unless the Penisheadian process a drinking straw as their small lips prevent them from consuming the desired volumes of beer, without spilling it and causing even more humour
 
Where ever groups of Penisheadian’s gather disorientation can occur, due to the lack of distinguishing facial features means that they have trouble recognising themselves from one another. To prevent this name badges are advised as this reduces embarrassing incidents of misrecognition
 
What ever you do, do not I repeat do not stand between a Penisheadian and a camera as the presence of this device near a Penisheadian sparks a uncontrollable urge to pose for photos to remember the night for years to come.
 
If you or someone you know has fallen to the Penisheadian’s menace don’t fear the joy and happiness that they experience and bring to all that they meet and the good memories that they will bring can only spread the invasion across the world.

Another Friday night at home alone, Pete was unemployed, no job meant no money to go out and party like he used to do. But Pete was a lucky man in some ways. His girlfriend Liz knew how stressed Pete would be, not only about losing his job, but also about not being able to afford to go out, so she bought a couple of bottles of cheap red over to cheer him up.
 
They relaxed on the couch for a while, getting drunker by the minute, eventually Liz decided to change the music they had been listening too, and slid onto the floor before crawling across to the CD player. Pete could clearly see her firm ass cheeks, and tight thong, under her short mini skirt as she knelt on the floor in front of him.
 
Pete felt the familiar tightening in his balls, as he watched her kneeling in front of the CD player on all fours, trying to decide which CD to play next. Grinning to himself, Pete joined her on the floor. Liz looked back at him with a naughty grin as Pete ran his hands up underneath her skirt, and across the flesh of her tight ass.
 
Pete’s saliva mixed with Liz’s pussy juice, her thong was soaking wet. Liz was always wet, but never like this. Pete rolled over onto his back and Liz straddled his face, there is no other way to describe what Liz was doing other than to say that she fucked Pete’s tongue, alternating from her pussy to her ass.
 
He slipped his fingers beneath the thong, and ran them across her clit, where the thong was stretched tightly across it; she let out a small sigh as he did so. Using his free hand, Pete pulled the fabric of the thong clear of her cunt hole, and gently eased two of his fingers inside of her sopping wet quim.
 
Liz was enjoying the attention, and rocked gently back and forth on her hands and knees, forcing his fingers deeper inside her with every thrust. When Pete knew she was ready for it, he undid his own jeans and forced them down to his knees. Using both hands, one placed on each side of her ass, he spread her wide and positioned his cock in front of her waiting hole.
 
Pete whispered to Liz that if she didn’t stop sucking him he was going to cum, so she s! topped, turned around to face him and rubbed her slimy pussy onto his face, his chest and all the was down to his toes. She even fucked his toes for a little while just to keep herself on the brink while Pete could recover himself. This worked for Pete, he was coming back from the brink of the vinegar stroke.
 
She got off her man and went to the lounge and knelt on it, leaning onto the backrest, telling Pete to fuck her doggy style. This way he could control his thrusts and make himself last longer. He also got a great view of his cock going in and out of Liz’s oozing pussy. Pete stuck his thumb into Liz’s hole with his cock still in her getting it nice and slippery so that he could thumb fuck her asshole at the same time as his cock pounded in and out of her cunt.
 
Finally Pete was into her ass up to the hilt, drawing back and forth and building up speed. When he came he came with a roar, he didn’t pull out of her after he came, leaving his cock ! in her ass until he was flacid. But being the blokey bloke that he was, Pete reached around to the coffee table and got the bottle of wind, taking a swig from it every now and then, and Pete thinking that he was being a gentleman offered the bottle to Liz. What a guy.

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Instructions for the use of the Kegelmaster

Before Starting -Due to production techniques used in the manufacture of The KegelMaster 2000TM, minor imperfections may be present. Please look over The KegelMaster 2000TM and if any imperfections are detected, don’t worry these can easily be smoothed out by using the smooth side of an emery board.

Note: It is recommended that you go to the toilet before use.

Firstly grab your KegelMaster 2000TM and your KegelGlide 2000 lubricant and let’s begin. Let’s start by using only one spring in the KegelMaster 2000TM and place it on the rear pin located just in front of the hinge.

Now close the KegelMaster 2000TM with your hand while tightening the knob on top to hold it closed. Warning, do not over tighten your KegelMaster 2000TM! Simply lay down on your back, with your head resting on a pillow get comfortable and relax, Now bend your knees while keeping your feet flat and about two feet apart.

Make sure you have lubricated the vaginal area with a water soluble lubricant and the unit has been lubricated with Kegelglide 2000. Now position The KegelMaster 2000TM, with the knob up.

We are ready to insert The KegelMaster 2000TM Place The KegelMaster 2000TM between your thighs. Insert the unit into your vaginal opening until it is firmly in place. You will notice this when The KegelMaster 2000TM feels much smaller when locks into place. Note: The KegelMaster 2000TM is only inserted approximately three inches.

Grasp The KegelMaster 2000TM unit firmly by the handle. You are now ready for your first adjustment!! This is done by turning the knob at the top of The KegelMaster 2000TM counter clockwise - that is until the knob is no longer touching the top of The KegelMaster 2000TM or until some discomfit is felt which ever occurs first. Don’t worry; this discomfort is your muscles being put under tension so that the contraction exercise can proceed.
 
Note: If the knob is not touching the top of The KegelMaster 2000TM and you don’t feel any pressure from The KegelMaster 2000TM putting resistance against the vaginal muscles, then you will have to add another spring. If you have the right tension, squeeze down against The KegelMaster 2000TM. If you are easily able to close down with your vaginal muscles completely for thirty closings, remove the unit from your vagina and change the position of the springs, moving forward one pin.

Adjusting Tension to accurately close The KegelMaster 2000TM during the exercise: If you can still easily close down on the KegelMaster 2000TM all the way, for thirty closings, then you must one again move the spring forward to yet another pin.

If you find that the single spring is on the front pin and you are still able to easily close unit all the way, for thirty closings - after insertion, then you must move the single spring back to the rear pin (1) and add a spring to the next forward pin (2), then repeat the process. The ideal spring tension is determined by one’s ability to close unit completely at the beginning of the exercise but becoming unable to close it completely at the end of 30 closings. This eventually will not be hard to do and it’s a lot of fun to see how many of the springs you can squeeze for 30 closings, having difficulty with the last five.

Maximizing Your Sequences and Sets(you can never overwork the vaginal muscles). The exercise sequence starts with 3 sets of 30 closings daily. With each rep you attempt complete closure of The KegelMaster 2000TM, pausing between each set of 30 closings for 15 seconds. It is recommended to work up to 6 sets of 30 closings a minimum of 3 times a week. If an individual chooses, they may do as many sets and closures that they feel comfortable with. Your goal is to fatigue the muscle until there is very little movement.

Writer Louise Servage works for the kegelmaster a business dedicated to helping women with incontinence and getting there life on track visit Kegelmaster Australia Now.